More crazy kids (wait kids are more well behaved than these "things" posing as people)

Here's one good impostor description to watch out for, or two, or three... oh just read!

Tall, 50's, grouch, mustache guy: "I don't care how you do it, just do it!"

Alrighty then. This guy wanted to sample salad on a plate and didn't specify salad bar or deli case salads. This was specifically in response to bunch of types of salads from our deli case, which I then suggested I could put into a paper box for him so that he could warm it up and not worry about a plastic container melting and/or having half a dozen containers, ya' know I get to use math sometimes, added the tare weight and reentering it and adding more food to the box, and so on.
NUT!

Other various kinds of customers:

The Samplers:

Piercing-city lady (in eyebrows, multiple in nose, both lobs and "bull ring" and lower lip stud, with no front teeth with a slurry and rough voice, badly bleached out hair, red eyes (not exactly "straight" if you know what I mean in street lingual). So, she samples the olives on the olive bar, then one or two items from the deli case and then one or both of the soups, too! And, she never buys a thing.

Vegan bum who samples sometimes four or more items from the deli case, as well as soups and olives, also never buys a thing. For the first time since i've been working, to my knowledge, he bought something on February 8, 2006! Plus, I saw him the same week at the Wedge Co-op buying stuff, too! What is happening to the world?


The Bargers:

This lady starts off with a sly gate and then ends up barging (that's right, not budding or budging the word originated from barge, as in on the river barge; I tried to convince my classmates in second grade about this, but they didn't believe me, so you must obey... wahhahahaha) her way in front of other customers. Before I have the chance to fully ask the first customer(s) what they'd like, she blurts out what she must have. How rude!

The Funky Hair Guys:

Sideburn guy (or mutton chop guy rather) number one had a crazy curly thing goin' on on his cheeks: |&| _ |&|, this was true 70's style with sweater and all, alas no matching glasses (maybe he had in those new funky glass contacts).

Jet back to the 1880's to meet the king of mutton chops (once again side burns in layman's terms). He had smile-enhancing ones that were shaped like triangles coming down to a point just to the edge of his lips, see rendering at right: |\ _ /| or at least something to that degree.

5 weirdo thingys about mio

This post was a dare or rather a tag from Kya:

"The first player of this game starts with the topic 'five weird habits of yourself,' and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says “You are tagged” (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

Nate, you've been tagged. HAHAHA. Now, do it!"

Okay, so here goes...

1. As a guy I love to cook and sample my delicious foods I make (sometimes when it comes to my food I can be anything but
modest... hehehe).

2. Elmo rocks and I can talk like him, so can Kya although she can be shy. Plus she does a killer Zoe from Sesame Street, too.

3. I, along with Kya, give food to homeless people in person, not through a food shelf (she blogged about this earlier this
year) and yet some people would see this as weird. Getting to know people around you, what, community, what???

4. Yes, the rumors are true, I am active on a few sites that deal with transit and urban development (my interests lay more so in the sustainability corner of things).

5. My wife and I taught English in another country for a year. This experience of living and working abroad is something that will continually influence me in everything I do.

Give it up

Many nasty tricks are used by Food Giants to make you overeat. Adding lots of fat, sugar and salt are obvious ones. They know that if they add enough fat, sugar and salt Americans will eat almost anything --- George Bush's favorite pig-out food --- pork rinds [(George Bush senior not junior, the one we're currently stuck with)]. But potato chips aren't much better. They should really be called fat with a small amount of potato added.

The real dirty tricks that food companies use to make you overeat are more subtle and don't jump out at you when you read the label --- things like "natural flavoring" --- which sounds very benign, but it can be almost anything. It can be nucleic acid from chromosomes of cells, extracts of yeast cells or waste beef or worse. Rabbi Eidlitz from the Kosher Information Bureau in north hollywood, California, reported that some ingredients with names like "natural" colors have been known to contain monkey intestines and "artificial flavors" from ground-up cats. So if you like to eat cats [and monkeys], you'll know what to look for. One thing for sure, it's there to make your taste buds go crazy, so that if you eat just one bite, you're hooked and have to keep right on eating until the bag is empty. These compounds have only one purpose --- to make the Food Giants' sales climb.

Excerpt from Paul A. Stitt's book: Beating the Food Giants

So, are vegans really that weird? That's right; didn't think so!

More Crap

Customer Corrections:

First:
Customer: "Can I have a half of an 8 oz container of this __________?"
Me: "Sure."
Customer: "I thought that would be half a pound (8 oz)."
Me: "No, the 8 oz refers to fluid ounces, and every item has a different weight regardless."

Second:
Customer: I want a half of a small of this."
Me: "Alright,"
Customer: "Stop, I only want half!"
Me: "You asked for half and that's what I have here for you."

Third:
Customer: "I want some of this."
Me: "I cannot see what your pointing at."
Customer (adamantly): "This!"
Me: "I cannot see through the metal shelf at this angle."
Customer: "The ________."

Fourth:
Customer: "I want some of this."
(Walks away before I have the chance to ask how much)
(Customer returns)
Me: "I didn't have a chance to ask you how much you would like."
Customer (Sheepishly): "Oh, sorry."

Fifth:
Me: "Hi there, let me know if I can help you at all."
Customer: "I haven't seen anything that turns me on."
Me: ("Oh, the deli case got rejected. What a shame, maybe next time," thinking to myself)
("The deli case has been usually a means to turn oneself on, but keep it in your pants at least!" A later response by one of my coworkers).

Sixth:
Me: "What would you like today."
Customer: "I have not been turned on, maybe my wife will."

Seventh:
Customer: "Does that have gluten in it?"
Me: "No it does not."
(You'd think that people with allergies should be use to reading ingredients, especially when they are lists on the sign, guess not. Another customer was so pissed about us being out of gluten free salads that typically contain quinoa, a non-gluten "grain" (a fruit technically like buckwheat is) used in tabouli and the like, that she had to make not-so-under-her-breath-remarks such as, well the other co-ops carry gluten free stuff all the time. Hello we just ran out, not to mention that it's almost 9pm and ya' could've come in earlier to get some in the first place because it's popular with non-gluten allergenic peoples! Well doesn't that mean you should make more because the demand is so high. WTF, go buy the 6 ingredients it takes to make this dish, which can be prepared in 30 minutes, by the way).

Eighth:
Customers should have to slice their own meat when they want it shaved, especially when the amount is a half pound or more. Then maybe they'll become vegan, okay likely not, but if they had to kill their own meat they might. At the very least they would have TMJ, tennis elbow (meat slicer elbow more correctly) in their right arm, or carpal tunnel syndrome in their left wrist from catching and turning the meat over onto a piece of parchment paper.

Ninth:
Customer: "I'm ready!"
Me: "Okay, what would you like?"
Customer: "Ummmm." (Still thinking obiously, because they really were not ready in the first place, but wanted attention from someone today because they needed to feel like they are loved).

Trader Joe's

No I'm not talking about Potter-Joe, for those in the know.

Apparently St. Louis Park, a first-ring suburb of Minneapolis, will have one of the largest Trader Joe's in the US and it's set to open May 19th, 2006. Kya and I fell in love with this place on our first visit to a location in Palo Alto, while staying with some friends in Mountain View, California (on the Caltrain line). This happened because there are not really much to speak of in terms of an honest-ta'-goodness-food co-ops... as is exactly not the case in the Minneapolis area, so Trader Joe's was our savior for the week of no Wedge Co-op living, because there were a good deal of organic foods for sale and healthy stuff in the snack department (not a fan of their 2-buck-chuck crappy, unsustainable wine though, it's trucked into Napa from the Central Valley, but carries the Napa label, not cool).

Hey, St. Paul school district is drafting plans for getting rid of junk food, mainly 'cus of the raising obesity in children. That is sooooo cool to me, it may not seem like much to some people, but this is a humongous thing, for this type of change has set in in just a few years after schools agreed to take cash from vending machine companies. While the vending machines will stay, the only convenience students and staff and teachers will be buying from them will be 100% juice, baked potato chips, trail mix, and pretzels. Bye-bye cola's, deep-fried fatty chips and sugary-salty-fat-laden candy. Plus the lunch room fair will not be junky either, there the first ingredient in a dish cannot be sugar, at least a step up.

Hold on there!

Kya: "Oh my god! Nate!"

Me: (This is what I get woken up to. Not a, "Good mornin' hon', you sleep well?" Okay, no Kya doesn't do that anyway, so here I'm thinking to myself in my non-drunken (okay I did have a half shot of amaretto last night, doesn't count though) sleepy stupor, just call me god that'll be fine... no need for formalities such as adding the name Nate) "What?!"

Kya: "It's seven below outside!!!" (in lamens terms: almost f*cking cold enough to the point if you pee outside it instantly freezes, okay that's more like 50 below, but you get the point).

Me: Stumbling into the panoramic view living room to confirm her disbelief I say, "Damn that's cold!" Since it's my day off I could care less, no one and i mean nothing could get me to leave the warmth of the sun beating down on me inside now.

Kya: Questioningly, "Can you give me a ride?"

Me: (I think I saw her eyelids batting at me from the other room (mister obviously saying: "She really wants you to drive her)).

So, we bundle up like were going to compete in the Iditarod, no need to light a fire under our car's oil pan like they do in Siberia though, remember, it's not that cold. (Who's sick little joke was it to make the temp. that cold today, especially at 9am)? Then wafter I dropped off Kya I came back to our apartment building and once inside the lobby waiting for the elevator I looked back to see the automatic, motion sensing, door open by itself. Yes, it's official the evil spirit wind/cold has taken over even the electronic door's sensors. Gotta' watch out or you could lose a digit or two, get your mind outta' the gutter, I mean a finger or thumb or toe.

Anywho, now she's done and I'm off to pick her up via car, but we are going out to a good ole Korean Buffet, "My idea of heaven is a biiiig buffet, where you never get full and you never get fat... ahhhhhh!" Margaret Cho's mom's salivating response is echoed by many a people. "Two please," Margaret Cho's response to her mother.

TheFutureofFood

TheFutureofFood
Originally uploaded by Elmoisamonster.

Check out the website listed at the bottom of my last entry for information about this DVD. Rent or buy it and then pass on what you learn.

What are you eating today?

Hold on now! Don't eat that or drink that thing in your hand before you read this!

Recently I viewed the movie The Future of Food by Deborah Koons Garcia (presented by Lily Films).

It described how GE and GMO (Genetically Engineered and Genetically modified Organisms respectively) products are unfortunately becoming a mainstay in our breakfasts, lunches, and suppers. Corn and all corn derived products, the high fructose corn syrup in your coke, pepsi, candy, maybe even tomato sauce, ice cream, cakes, and other pre made products will likely contain these progresses of bio-science.

The problem is we generally don't know what is and what is not screwed up with GE or GMO. To genetically manipulate foods, a carrier is used, and that happens to be the ever popular bacteria. For corn, Monsanto (indisputably the worst GMO/GE company in the world, once solely a chemical company and now one of the largest seed companies in the world) has found and used a bacteria in top soil that is resistant to Round-up, now most corn has become an open experiment, its DNA mutating and then that pollen transfers to other farmer's crops and changes that corn (this bacteria is now resistant to the best antibiotics, so when we eat it guess what happens... we have allergic reactions that can be life-threatening, but because products by law do not have to be labeled GMO tainted or GMO free, people cannot blame the source of the problem, Monsanto).

Also, Monsanto believes that the crop of the other farmer's is theirs because the farmer is at fault for the contamination of their own crop. The diversification of corn is now dangerous peril of becoming now-existent and so there will be one kind of corn and if that were not enough there is corn that has been GE'ed so that it cannot be planted after it produces a crop,, a terminator gene, as it is called, is inserted and again the pollen will undoubtedly fall on other farmer's crops and then their plant will not grow the next year, so eventually everyone will have to buy seed from Monsanto, because the plant cannot reproduce and then because of cross-pollination of the terminator gene into even Monsanto's corn crop there may be no more corn, extinction).

Monsanto is now in the process of claiming a patent on most every type of produce in the world so that they can claim that a farmer in Zambia has "stolen" their product and therefore must pay Monsanto to plant something that that farmer's family has been for millennia. Wrong?! You bet!!!

Unfortunately, since the US government has allowed Monsanto and other GE/GMO corporations an unbridled regulatory system, the companies test their own products and claim them to be safe, while the FDA would usually be the one doing that (studies of rats given even small doses of GE/GMO plants get lesions in their bodies that develop into cancer of kill them outright from an allergic reaction and another study found that 40% of butterflies died from contact with GE/GMO plants, think what would happen if all the bees disappeared, end of all pollenating plants as we know it and the end of the human species as we know it). But, because the current Government is infiltrated with people who once worked for Monsanto and or their subsidiaries from those in the EPA, FDA and even those in other high roles of the administration like that of Donald Rumsfeld.

Okay, now that you're all pissed off and don't know what to do... think about what you eat, unless you want to be a walking bio-science experiment for Monsanto you might want to eat less pop/cola/etc. that contains high fructose corn syrup, as well as cakes and candies that also contain this now toxic substance. Instead try to buy locally grown, and when possible organic (nonuse of GMO GE seeds, which are also chemical free in terms of fertilizer, insecticide and herbicides).

Take a stand! This message is meant to empower you to make a choice about what you want the world to be like, and that of the generations of people that come after us. Monsanto and other companies are now also GE'ing fish and other animals so they are GMO's, too. Think about what could happen to the entire ecosystem, interbreeding could lead to extinction.

*Visit www.TheFutureofFood.com for more information on what you can do.

*Buy produce from local farmers markets, or from CSA (community supported agriculture) farmers who typically are mostly if not all organic. Plus the money you spend stays locally and is reinvested into local companies, and not sent to some CEO of Wal-mart, etc.

*Tell your legislators that GE/GMO are not okay and that you want these products labeled in the grocery stores just like they are in the European Union. Protect the farmers and not corporations.

*Don't let the GE/GMO people fool you, numerous studies by the likes of Universities such as that of Berkeley prove that these foods are less nutritional, and the crop yield on an acre of land is less then none-GE/GMO plants. So, no this technology will never feed the hungry of the world.

Another installment of the crazies

An Ode to the Crazy (think they're a Czar) Customer:

This one (shorter version of my manager, in terms of looks) is trying to find organic cheddar cheese, right. So I point them out and she recognizes one of the brands and states, "Oh, the packaging changed." I continue on and then I get to one that is made from raw milk. She goes off, "When I do a kinesiology test, you know pressing it with my finger, I know it's not good for me."

"Oooookay then," I think to myself. She continues on describing in detail what happens when it gets to her stomach, etc. "Please stop," I think.

I say this once she's finished, "Well, for hundreds of years cheese had been made that way and only until recently was milk pasteurized to make cheese as we know it."

She goes on with her know it all attitude, "If you did a test on yourself it wouldn't do well in your body either."

My dry response, "I don't eat cheese, I'm vegan."

She chides, "Well, it still wouldn't do well in your system (if you did, what I described would likely happen to you)."

I think to myself: I don't care, I wouldn't try your silly test anyway, 'cus I know that 2/3 of the world becomes intolerant to lactose around age 2-4, and do most of us listen? Nope! We're the only mammal on earth that continues to drink milk after being weaned from the bottle, not to mention milk related products man has created. There are groups of people all over the earth, that have not been touched by our "civilized world" and they have eaten less than 1.5% of their food from animal sources for millennia. A good example would be the Hunzas of the Himalayas, and they typically live to 100-120 and almost never have problems of cancer and arthritis and heart attack and high blood pressure and other "normal" diseases and illnesses!

No, I didn't go off on her, but I wish I could've, but... she's the type of person who wouldn't "listen" anyhow and is simply not worth my time.

In response I calmly said as politely as possible, "Okay." and then walked away and I decided to blog her instead, Ha, ha, hahhhhhhhhh.

Wanna be driven crazy?

Come work at my co-op, or for that matter anywhere that customer service comes into play. Lets look at some of the highlights (no, not the magazine that we read as kids and did those puzzles and racked our brain on the find-the-difference-games) from my time in this current position thus far, shall we?

The Tuna Chronicles:

Act I, Scene I
Customer: "Can I have a tuna melt?"
Me: "Sure. What kind of bread would you like? We have whole whe..."
(Clearly cut me off).
Customer: "No bread please."
Me: "Okay... we don't have any means to heat that up for you."
Customer: "Oh, really."
Me: "No, but if you'd like, I could put the tuna and cheese of your choice in a box so you can heat it up in the microwave near the exit door."
Customer: "That would be great!!!"
(A little too excited about that, apparently dead Dr. Atkins' diet is still alive and kicking... FREAK)!

Act II, Scene I ( know these are not very in-depth Acts).
Customer: "I want two tuna melts, with tomato, sprouts, lettuce, and a splash of pickle juice (from the dill pickle jar in the deli case, called the chef's case officially, which makes no sense at all)."
Me: "Okay it'll be a few minutes."
Customer: "That's alright, I'll just be around."
(Meanwhile I start to create and then grill the sandwiches. As I am turning them around so they are evenly melted and so the grill makes are even)...
Customer: "There's not cheese on those?"
Me: "Tuna melts have cheese on them."
Customer: "I don't eat cheese!"
Me: "I'll make you new ones in a moment."
(She never said anything about no cheese, and HELLO when you ask for a tuna melt you get cheese!!! DUH!!! I suppose she blamed me because she was so in a hurry in the beginning of the order that I didn't get a chance to ask and had assumed she wanted cheese, for she said, key word, MELT. Boy was I pissed, can ya' tell)?

Act III, Scene I
Customer: "Do you have sandwiches?"
Me: "Yes we do, and here is the sheet you fill out to make your order."
(It's laminated to save paper, just cleaned up and used again and again).
Customer: "Do you have a writing utensil?"
Me: "Yes, there is a marker right in the front of the basket."
Customer: "That's not going to work."
Me: (Dumbfounded and lacking words to respond, thinking that there might not have been a marker in there I start to look for one, but then see that there is indeed one in there) "Well..."
Customer: "These are the most toxic things you can breath in on earth!"
Me: (Still confused as to wtf he's talking about, then I realize). "Tell me what you'd like."
Customer: "Just give me a a tuna melt."
Me: (This is one of the most toxic things you can eat on earth! Here I'm referring to the mercury levels consistently found in tuna).

For future showings please go back to top of beginning Act of The Tuna Chronicles.

Silly Kids

Know how children can be so inquisitive and insightful? As far as examples go I'm sure you have one in your head right now, but if not read these ones below, which happened at my workplace:

Child: "Whas 'sat?"
Parent: "Sushi."
Child: "I wan' sus'i."
Parent: "No, kids don't like that."

Someone should tell the children everywhere that like sushi that they really don't its just their imagination.

Parent: "Honey lets get some root beer. No open this door."

That was just a short little ditty about a parent ordering around their kid.

Child: "Was 'sat?"
Parent: "Those are olives."
Child: (Reaching for them).
Parent: "Say icky! You don't like olives!"
Child: "Icky!"

Gee I wonder why some children get so picky about eating? Maybe its because they think everything is icky?

Child: "I want some."
Parent: (Tries a sample of the dish from the deli) "That's too spicy for you."

There, I-made-up-my-mind-for-you-response. The last child was a three/four year old and all the previous ones were around 2/3 years of age.

When I was at the YWCA with Kya young kids starting to eat meat in the infant room begin so at 10 months and arrodingly will continue on for the rest of their lives or until they decide not to (like Kim and I). Anyway, typically the children would automatically spit out any and all meat they were served, whether that was ground into a pate, for the younger ones, or around
the time they turn 1 year they eat ground beef and chicken, and the like, and they chew it and spit that out too. Why, do you ask, well they don't like the texture and possibly the taste as well. Yes kids would spit out most new foods on the first try, however meat was the assumed food to not like even after many tries. Coincidence, I think not, but that's just my opinion.

One time at the YWCA Kya and I were working at different times with a group of toddlers and the incident took place during snack one day when an acting lead teacher started saying that the dehydrated apple rings, tasted horrible (she directed this at the other teachers and aids in the room, but guess who else heard)? Not a single toddler even picked up the apple chips. Later that week, Kya happened to be in the room, and the past offending teacher trying to bestow ignorance on the kids was not there that day, and she tried the apple chips before the kids received them and played it up as to how amazing and wonderful these apple ships indeed were. Kya exclaimed, "Mmmmmm, this are so good Nate. Try them." And so I did. My response, "Mmmmmm, wow these are so good." Then we distributed the apple chips for snack and then low and behold the kids scarfed them down and want not just seconds, but thirds as well. This became one of their most popular snacks.

This next one is just plan funny:

Child: "Daddy, daddy."
(Short period of silence).
Child: "Daddy, daddy."
(Short period of silence again).
Child: "Daddy, daddy. I didn't know they had straw, strawberry. I didn't know they had strawberry milk!"
(Short period of silence once again).
Child: "Daddy, daddy. Look! They have strawberry! Strawberry milk!"
(That excitement passed and then the child exclaims out of nowhere).
Child: "Daddy, daddy. Do you have any money?"
(Likely, they were in a grocery store, well my co-op, and the father had a handful of items, along with four kids in tow, one in his arm, and the "chattery" one (3yrs) and two older ones).